Now here’s something I just couldn’t pass up writing about. It’s an oh-so-tongue-and-cheek article entitled, “Girl Things That Guys Don’t Understand,” written by an author who goes by the name of the “Huggable Understanding Girl.” (I love LovePanky.com!)
Anyway, this witty “advice for men” piece has to do with some things that I, as a mostly typical man, may not know about women. (If I am clueless about some of these “girl things,” then I feel obligated and totally open to learning more about the opposite sex.) Well, needless to say, the title intrigued me to no end, especially seeing that I’m known as an authority on love relationships, more specifically, on the honeymoon period of relationships.
The first thing Huggable Understanding Girl (I’ll call you HUG), brings up, is this relatively harmless question: Do Girls Look at Short Guys? Well, being that I’m almost 5’ 10”, I’ve never really had to consider the issue. But, in keeping with my duty to my shorter male readers, I can confidently report that women do check out shorter guys – at least that’s what HUG says. She says that, not only do they look at short guys; they sometimes even prefer them (thank God!) HUG also says that if the shorter guy is cute (like Tom Hanks), confident, “happy to exist,” tall, and big (say what?), then there’s really no problem. I’m down with that.
Now, HUG’s second query is a bit more sensitive: Do Girls Like Small Members? As I’ve sometimes wondered about “little things” like that, I was quite happy to hear what I’ve always known, that penis size isn’t necessarily such a “big” deal in the bedroom. And I just loved how HUG painted such a concise picture by way of her steamy story-telling in order to make that point (she had me breathing hard!) So what’s wrong with sarcasm to make a valid case? Nothing – I guess.
Do Girls Get Attracted to Bad Looking Men? Now what kind of question is that, HUG? Doesn’t the answer go without saying? I mean, really! But it is interesting when you say that women love to be chased by good looking men, except for a little-known loophole, called “character,” especially where the potential for long-term love is concerned. (Now, does that exclude money or fame? Hmm?) Anyway, HUG answers us “clueless” men with this definitive answer as it applies to women being attracted to ugly men with a resounding, “No way! We just put up with them because of their wat-zit… ah, ‘character’.” Let’s hear it for character!
Do Girls Like Being Called Bitches or Shorty? Are you kidding me with this one? Frankly, I’m insulted (and you probably are, as well, dear reader), by this obviously obvious question. As for me, I’ve never called anyone or anything a bitch. Okay, maybe once when I was at the vet’s with my dog, “Angel.” And Shorty? Now why would I ever call a woman something as demeaning and crass as “Shorty”? Surely, not to get a date or make my partner love me more! You said it yourself, HUG; “The last time a guy called me a b-i-t-c-h was in bed. I can assure you, he was the one who yelped like a dog after I was through with him.” With that being said, let’s move on…
Okay, men, now we’re getting somewhere with, How Can a Guy Turn on a Girl? Let us count the ways! But wait a second; did you just call me a doofus, HUG? Well, I never! As for me, I know all about the “red buttons,” “pleasuring up,” and “going with the flow,” in order to turn on a girl! Do you think I was born yesterday? But, as you would say, “on the easy side,” I would hope that we would have the ability, the knack, to get our women all “jumpy and keyed up”. Then again, wouldn’t a woman who’s relaxed and all syrupy be a better fit for most of us men? I mean, jumpy and keyed up could get real scary and even get us into trouble!
Why do Women Wear Revealing Clothes and Hate it when Men Stare? Now herein lies a genuine paradox, HUG. I see it all the time; women who look so stunning and over-the-top sexy out in public, yet seem to get really pissed off when she gets looked at by guys – even by the decent- looking ones! So what’s the deal here? Oh, now I get it. You say that because of all the “stiff” competition for women to hook-up with a “Sex God” (Zeus? Thor? Adonis?), all their dressing up isn’t really meant for me, (not to mention the other 99.9% of us guys!) I’ll have to remember this “fact” when I’m out there in my fine threads, you know, slyly attracting all those “Sex Goddesses”? Who knew?
Now here’s one question that I happen to completely agree with: I Have a Sense of Humor. Can I Get Any Girl? I could just hug you for this question and your right on answer, HUG! Being funny, by itself, definitely doesn’t guarantee that a girl will be attracted to a hilarious man. As you mention, money, looks, and a flashy car can certainly add to the attraction. (I knew money would creep into this article!) Then again, what’s a Sex God without a good sense of humor?
Oh, boy; here’s the part about those infamous “bad boys” and the girls who like them! Do Girls Like Guys With the Tag “I’m the guy your momma warned you about”? HUG states that “Bad boys are so last decade.” And just who are these bad boys? HUG: “… that means not too many friends, a bottle of beer or a ciggie all the time and a messed up and droopy look with ruffled hair.” And I agree; that’s an act, a front, that’s gotta be really exhausting to keep up for long – and so damn last decade!
Now, here comes the 64-thousand-dollar-question so aptly posed by HUG: Why Are Girls So Hard to Understand? Actually, I’ve never thought women were so difficult to understand – only some of them. And we’re all different, right? And sure, some women are more mysterious or play “harder to get” than others. But HUG’s right, we men generally do want the same things from them as they do from us. But “complicated”? I’m not so sure that’s what we want in a woman, because complicated could mean big problems and unwanted conflicts. And I think, as you do, HUG, this confusion does exist between both sexes.
So, I think I’ve learned a bit more about “things men just don’t understand about women.” And that’s good. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever learn even a fraction of all there is to know about women – and why would I want to? After all, a lot of us men love the mystery – and sometimes, even the challenge of a little confusion!
But maybe the thing here is to just “go with the flow,” without too much anxiety around having to figure out it all out. As HUG would say: “Stop worrying and whining about the mysterious women of Venus and just go get a life.” I couldn’t agree with you more, Huggable Understanding Girl! I could use a hug about now…