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As an author who is constantly writing about love relationships, especially the genesis or honeymoon period of relationships, I’m also incessantly perusing and learning from most of the many relationship sites and blogs available to me – and there’s thousands!

I typically look into the sites that deal with all the hot topics, those usual subjects related to love and intimacy: the beginnings of love relationships, relationship break-ups, how to attract a partner, good communication skills, sexuality, online dating, honesty and lying, infidelity, finding true love, defining love, love lost, interracial dating, LGBT dating, inter-faith dating, helpful relationship tips, and on and on…

There’s so much out there written and said about relationships, it could literally make your head spin – and mine continuously does!

That was, until I attempted to discover the common denominator, the critical elements contained within most relationships.  So consider this important question: Does your current relationship harmonize and blend in with your personal priorities? You can evaluate your relationship and its future potential according to these six main features: distraction, creativity, authenticity, emotional connection, humor, and healing. If you’re seriously attempting to keep your partnership with your beloved alive and well, you might want to consider these basic components:

Distraction

It’s easy to get caught up in the throes of love. It’s equally important, however, to make sure that your new love relationship is in sync with your life and its priorities. Does your partner inspire you to work harder, be a better person, and accomplish all the things that you dream about, or does he or she distract you from the tasks necessary to achieve your goals?  Does your partner truly harmonize with you and your elected life path? You have things to do with your life, so hopefully your partner is making your life journey not only more enjoyable, but more fulfilling and effortless.

Creativity

Creativity is what fuels positive, long-term relationships. Sharing and generating novel ideas, or new ways to have fun, and share quality time together, keeps the “love momentum” going.  Without this creativity, most relationships will stagnate and end on a sour note.

Healing

I’ve heard it said that, in some way, in some form, we’re all the walking wounded. We all have pasts that need some modicum of healing. For too many of us, we may’ve suffered some kind of abuse, whether it be physical, sexual, or emotional. We also tend to bring some (or a lot) of our emotional cuts and bruises into our adult relationships, BEFORE we’ve had sufficient chances to heal enough to be truly present, and to participate in an emotionally healthy love relationship.

So we have to heal those wounds before we can enter into successful intimacy with another – and that ain’t easy.

For some of us, a strong spiritual practice can help us through the pain of our troubled history. For others, we might need the help of a good counselor or a strong 12-Step group to help us out with this critical life healing process. And some may be able to successfully tap into the love and care of a wise and patient partner. For most of us, it’s usually a combination of all the above. But there’s no way around this important relationship feature – there’s always some healing, some personal repair to be done.

Authenticity

Nothing fuels a successful and long-lasting love relationship more than authenticity – being your true self in the presence of your partner. This means showing who you really are and being transparent in all ways: emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually. In other words, don’t be disingenuous, or a two-faced liar when dealing with your beloved – nobody likes a fake.

Emotional Connection

To be really, and I mean, really emotionally connected to your lover, is one of the true cornerstones of true intimacy.  Developing trust and rigorous honesty is a definite requirement.  Of course, it’s also vital to bring the feelings of unabashed fun and unbridled excitement to the relationship. (If you can’t have fun together, what’s the use, right?) But there absolutely has to be a close emotional connection with your partner in order for love to flourish, and in order for that love to last for any length of time. Many bloggers write about the importance of emotional connection in love relationships, and I do it, too.

Humor

There’s nothing worse than a couple who can’t laugh together! What a mistake if I didn’t add humor as a basic element of any successful relationship! The ability to laugh at oneself and with another is something really special to share.

When you evaluate your own relationship, do you find that it “passes all of the tests” listed above? Which of these features have you found to be most important in your own relationship? Please share your stories in the comments section below – I’m always listening!


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