“By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth.”
– Song of Songs
“Love doesn’t sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”
– Ursula K.
In my latest e-book, Honeymoon Forever: Secrets to Life Long Intimacy, I discuss, in detail, that first exciting step into love, that first hopeful phase of true connection with a prospective life partner known as the Honeymoon Period.
I talk about what the Honeymoon Period is and is not, preparing yourself for it, and how to continue along the path to successful lifelong intimacy with the self, another person, and in the end, a life-long love connection that truly transcends the self.
The Honeymoon Period: Some descriptive words
The Honeymoon Period encompasses many spiritual ideals, including these powerful words:
Hope, kindness, mindfulness, connection, universality, consciousness, awareness, willingness, serenity, openness, wonderment, beauty, bliss, love, and compassion.
And the splendid list goes on and on…
Intimacy with self
Once you experience true intimacy with yourself (the prerequisite for any healthy Honeymoon Forever), and then join with another, you have a clear opportunity to invite a sense of spirituality into your new relationship. The “looking beyond” that characterizes spirituality allows you and your partner to tap into something even more profound and mysterious in nature, possibly a particular concept of God or another spiritual “entity,” power, influence, or reality.
True love relationships aren’t just about two people meeting; they’re about each individual going beyond themselves to create and reach for something greater.
When you allow your Honeymoon Period to develop in this way, you’re in direct line for a higher form of relationship fulfillment. When spirituality and Honeymoon Periods are coupled together, they make perfect partners!
Spiritual love – Renewal & co-creation
Spirituality, as it relates to the Honeymoon Period, involves a constant renewal, a constant presence that allows each participant to see one another as complete, but also as parts of a collaborative union, a co-creation.
Like everything else in life, the Honeymoon Period is always in a state of creation, constant renewal, and change. It involves a rising up to your higher self by moving beyond the self through the action of loving another.
That’s what spirituality and love relationships are all about: creating a “oneness” in the moment, which requires a constant re-creation and renewal to form a spiritual union with another person.
It’s a conscious decision of devoting oneself to a process (and another person) that moves you forward on your spiritual path; a path that’s always changing and in constant flux. In the same way, a major key to a “Honeymoon Forever” is found in this devotional process of rekindling love. There’s a merging that takes place.
But as I’ve stated before, you need to be whole within yourself before a true, intimate, and spiritual connection can be achieved. It doesn’t work for two lovers to think of themselves as two parts of a whole; rather, each one has to strive for individual wholeness and then come together to form something even greater.
Once you internalize this deeper understanding of separate parts (each of which is actually whole in itself) merging to create something bigger, you’re well on your way to relationship fulfillment and personal enlightenment.
In the moment
Some say that spirituality can only be found in the present moment, the “now.”
Likewise, the Honeymoon Period is about today, the here and now, not some futuristic, pie-in-the-sky fantasy. This is not meant to contradict my firm belief that the Honeymoon Period can last a lifetime. But you’ll probably want to focus (as the 12-Steppers would say) on making it happen, “one day at a time.”
To further drive home the parallel between spirituality and a healthy Honeymoon Period, let me offer one shining example. Perhaps the Sufi mystic and poet Rumi said it best: “Day and night I see the face of union − I am the mirror of God.”
Ultimately, by using the lover and the beloved to examine one’s relationship with the divine, Rumi is showing us the connection between spirituality and earthly love. The passionate force of Rumi’s love for “the Beloved” should be familiar to anyone who’s ever been swept away by the deep emotions of a powerful Honeymoon Period.
But as I’ve been discussing all along, the trick is to harness this power of love.
Whenever you’re engaged in powerful forces, they can either empower or destroy you. Preserving a wholeness of self while also experiencing oneness with another takes expanded effort and focused discipline.
The Honeymoon Period: Tantra & Yoga
Take Tantra, for example, the Eastern spiritual system of harnessing sexual energy for the purpose of personal expansion (Tantra literally means “to stretch or expand”) and union with the divine. The Honeymoon Period can be viewed in the same way. When you enter into a passionate connection with another, you’re dealing with an incredible life force that can either propel you into a beautiful, balanced relationship or cause you to completely lose yourself.
Spiritual practices like Tantra and Yoga take discipline and consistent effort. Whoever thought that attending a single yoga class could bring you to enlightenment (or give you that perfect body)? It would be just as mindless to believe that a life-long Honeymoon Period happens in one fell swoop. So you keep going, showing up, and renewing your commitment.
The Honeymoon Period: A true connection
And isn’t connection with the whole really where it’s at, our ultimate life journey?
This notion of connection to something greater than oneself, to something as mysterious and perplexing as Universal Consciousness, Oneness, the Unknowable, God, is a worthy, if not ultimate goal of this life, this incarnation. And with this spiritual wisdom, this self-actualization, comes the power to create (and re-create!) a life-long partnership.
Your path to finding true love
So I wish you all the best in your loving endeavors. Remember that you have the ability and personal intention to carry all the love and passion of the Honeymoon Period into your long-term relationships and maybe even a fulfilling marriage.
Be not discouraged; Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Stay positive and focused, be creative, exercise some self-control, show up, stick to the challenge, your Path, and pay attention to what the vast universe is telling you.
Fearlessly explore and embrace the risk and the promise that self-transcendence brings. That, dear seeker of love, is the true secret to a successful Honeymoon Period, which I believe – without question − can last a lifetime…a magnificent and ultimately fulfilling Honeymoon Forever!