Welcome to Part II of the interview with our Honeymoon Period Couple (if you missed Part I, you can read it here). We pick up the conversation as the topic of “communication” is raised:
Q: What about communication in the Honeymoon Period?
Don: “Oh, communication… I think it’s really important…”
Rebecca: “Sure, it’s important. And we do spend a lot of time talking together… Much more than I’m used to with other people… But it’s all good…“
Don: “I think because we’re kind of feeling each other out… You know, it’s pretty early for us… But we’re pretty excited… Usually, I can’t wait to talk to Rebecca…”
Rebecca: “Oh yes… I enjoy talking with Donnie… He’s very smart!”
Don: “Well, you are, too, Reb…” (They nuzzle.)
Rebecca: “And come to think of it, we don’t really fight…
Don: “Yeah, I don’t think we’ve had any big arguments… Yet…”
Rebecca: “Yet?” (They both laugh).
Don: “But, we’ve had some disagreements… I don’t think fighting is something you usually find in the Honeymoon Period. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the Honeymoon Period is perfect by any means…”
Q: So, do you think there’s a negative side to the Honeymoon Period?
Don: “Maybe… I think there could be a tendency to put each other up on a pedestal. You know, make the other person perfect?”
Rebecca: “I think during the Honeymoon Period, there’s less of a tendency to project psychological wounds onto each other. I know that I have to see Don for who he truly is, not some made-up fantasy of who I want him to be. I need to be careful not to make Don my dad or some long-lost abusive grandfather. I need to always remember that it’s Don that I’m involved with here, not my parent or someone or something else… I really need to deal with reality.”
Don: “That’s true… I may see some aspects of my mom or dad in Rebecca, but I also need to realize that it’s Rebecca I want to get to know.”
Rebecca: “And I think there’s the tendency to mirror each other’s level of health or unhealthiness. A lot of people that haven’t done the right work on themselves can easily let their emotions control them, and then the Honeymoon Period can get pretty mindless and even hedonistic.”
Don: “Then again, I think it’s important not to over-analyze the relationship. I mean, I’m enjoying this new adventure with Rebecca. And this time, I think I’m doing it in a pretty healthy way. I think I’m seeing this new relationship for what it really is. Hey, I know that it’s easy to ignore Rebecca’s negative stuff during the Honeymoon Period…”
(Rebecca turns her head towards Don with a playfully indignant look)
Rebecca: “Donnie! What negative stuff? (Jokingly) Don’t you think I’m perfect?”
Don: “See? I know Rebecca’s joking around, but I do think we might both tend to look past the negative stuff that might come up later in the relationship… You know, each person’s dark side? What you don’t want the other person to know… Things you’re not too proud of.”
Q: So, the Honeymoon Period can be risky?
Don: “Especially if you don’t know what you’re doing…”
Don: “Love is a risk.”
Rebecca: “But worth it, if you’re willing to take that risk.”
Q: What about the future with regards to the Honeymoon Period?
Don: “You want to keep the bonding going on. I think that over time, you develop common ways to make it work. It’s kind of a symbiotic thing. But you have to work at it, because you want it lead somewhere…”
Rebecca: “I really think the Honeymoon Period can lead to something more, even family life, kids, the whole enchilada…”
Don: “True. But only if each person does their inner work first. You gotta be willing to take a hard look at yourself first…”
Rebecca: “I agree… Without that deep personal work, there’s not much chance for a really great long-term relationship that can develop after the Honeymoon Period.”
Don: “So you want kids, Rebecca?”
Rebecca: “Sure, I thought you knew that…”
Don: “See? I’m learning something new about Rebecca every day, every conversation. That’s all part of the Honeymoon Period.”
Rebecca: “There’s a real learning curve here… So, do you want kids, Donnie?”
Don: “We’ll talk after the interview, honey…”
(They both laugh and hug).
A “COUPLE” MORE IMPRESSIONS
Throughout the interview, which lasted over an hour, both of these new lovers were able to speak about the other’s shortcomings, and acknowledged that peoples’ dark sides tended to be more hidden during the HMP. There was little conflict, yet occasional respectful disagreements were observed, which were deflected by a healthy shared sense of humor. True, both appeared to be on their best behavior, yet they seemed in tune with each other – a kind of “collective synchronization.”
There was also a pioneering spirit of openness, a readiness to be vulnerable and transparent with one another, to share one’s true self, and a refreshing willingness to honestly acknowledge the possible pitfalls of the HMP, as well.
This couple was thoughtful and creative with their responses. At times, they actually seemed to embody the creative power of the muses. The practical, yet spiritual connection between these two appeared to be very strong, like that of “soul mates” finally together. We observed a real potential for an exciting and fulfilling long-standing relationship – a shining example of the Honeymoon Period at its flourishing best!
*To read the complete interview, with all comments and observations, consider purchasing my latest book, Honeymoon Forever: Secrets to Long-Term Intimacy.