Okay, so your expectations are soaring as you once again boot up your computer to hit the online dating site. Will I meet my match today, you wonder? Will I find my true love this time around?
But, it’s all good. And, who knows, you just might strike it rich—in love, that is—unless you make one or more of these 5 common online dating mistakes:
1) Not showing up as the person you really are.
There’s been a lot said about general online dating misrepresentation, like falsifying age, photos, geographic availability, a job, income, etc. The list of dishonest B.S. is potentially long, and it happens a lot.
If you’re portraying yourself as a successful financier when you’re almost broke, or coming across like royalty when you’ve just been kicked out of your studio apartment, knock it off already! It’s bad karma, and, in time, you’ll probably be found out anyway.
2) Spending way too much time emailing each other.
So, you’ve made the initial online connection with a potential partner; great. And you’ve been emailing each other for a while now. She writes well, and you’ve been able to successfully show off your great sense of humor. You both talk about meeting in person, but it just never seems to happen, even though you live down the street from one another!
The only way for online dating to really work, for a true love connection to be firmly established, and possibly happily lived out is for the two of you to actually meet—in the flesh!
On the flip side, if you want a potential love to fizzle, stay exclusively online for weeks or months, and never actually meet.
3) Judging the other too fast.
In this fast-paced age of immediate assessments, with its “just make a decision and move on” mentality, we’re way too quick about judging anything, including the mates we pick. Too many of us are way too hasty to dismiss a potential love connection before it has a chance to really blossom. What ever happened to the notion of “taking time to know the person better?”
I don’t know about you, but in the past, it’s sometimes taken me months to really get to know and understand the inner life of another person. (Some say it takes years to fully know someone!) I’ve even had instances where I didn’t initially like the other person. But as time went on, I came to the conclusion that I really like, even love this individual. Go figure.
The point is, this kind of “retroactive realization”—this awakening of true feelings for another—does happen, if we give it time.
So, you just might want to hold off deciding whether this person is for you or not. You owe it to them and even more, to yourself.
4) Not paying enough attention to the profile.
People like to be acknowledged for their own particular traits, likes, dislikes, accomplishments, and personal dreams. And your potential online partner is no different. He or she has taken the time to write paragraphs upon paragraphs about their life, including their particular preferences about what they’re looking for in a partner.
One big mistake made by many online pursuers of love, is their blatant disregard for the other person’s unique story. Too often, they don’t delve deeply enough into the other’s profile in order to gain a better understanding of just who it is that they’re corresponding with. Then they answer them with a one-word or one-sentence response, usually about themselves—kind of narcissistic and rather dismissive, do you think?
One of the basic tenants for online dating success is this: read the other’s profile very carefully, and make sure that your written response is one that takes into account their uniqueness.
Otherwise, what could’ve been a lifelong love connection will just pass you by, because he or she will think that you don’t give a damn. Don’t miss your opportunity.
5) Being too picky.
So, in your search for love, what are your basic requirements of the other? Do they have to have a particular career? A certain hairstyle? A prescribed height? A particular religion? A favorite color?
You might want to ask yourself if you’re being too picky about who you’re willing to let into your life. Am I putting my new online friend into a tiny box, where they’ll never live up to my expectations, because I’m just too demanding?
Now, it is true that we have to be vigilant and discerning about a potential partner. After all, there’s plenty of imposters and game players out there. But can’t we also go too far the other way and possibly miss out on a fulfilling love because we’re too picky?
Had enough? And that’s only 5 big online dating mistakes you’ll never want to make! But, don’t be discouraged, these are merely reminders to help you find love on the internet.
So, stay tuned, dear readers for my next blog, 5 More of the Biggest Online Dating Mistakes You Don’t Want to Make – Part II